Learning How to Breathe
by pryaponds
Summary: It must be in the water in Port Charles. Set five years after Black Rain, Kristina and Ethan's relationship is about to take on the challenge of a life time. Can they with stand the changes that children bring and fend off Helena all at the same time?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is a sequel to Black Rain, but it can also stand alone so if you haven't read Black Rain you should still be able to follow along with this one, well. **

**Learning How to Breathe**

**Chapter One**

**Five years after Black Rain…**

Sunlight flittered in, in a wash of color against the soft blues and browns that adorned the west walls. It was so beautiful that Kristina had been roused at the first signs of the morning glow through the curtains. She stood, bathed in that light, arms wrapped delicately around herself.

It was mid fall but the sheer brightness seemed to warm her to the core despite being in only a pale pink camisole and matching panties. She narrowed her eyes as her tongue darted across her lips, catching the faint darkness on the horizon. It had been a long a night and the morning that was brightening her mood also heralded a storm to come. Kristina could feel it. It wasn't just weather, something dark.

She remembered the last time this feeling snuck up on her and gingerly she let trembling fingers comb over the bullet scar hidden behind her ear. Her smile waned as the warmth was leeched from the room.

"Penny for your thoughts." Kristina turned with a slight jump as Ethan groggily made his way out of the bed, blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He came up behind her and wrapped his arms and the blanket around the both of them, pulling her tightly against him.

"I was enjoying the sun." She smiled, tying to get her mind off the storm and the feeling tugging at her soul. It was stupid. Nothing like that could happen again, could it?

"You were somewhere far far away." Ethan's breath was hot against her neck, chasing the cold away as she felt his lips brush against her hair, a soft kiss closing his observation.

"I was." She smirked, smiling as she held on to his arms. He always saw through her, could read her better than anyone. "Do you believe in intuition?"

"I believe in instinct. I know it's not the same thing, but I think instinct is often mistaken for intuition." Ethan chuckled. "Philosophical sort of morning, Love."

"I've just got this feeling." Kristina almost wished she hadn't given it a voice, but it was nagging at her and Ethan had already picked up on her mood just by looking at her.

"Instinct…the alarm didn't go off." He smirked against her ear. "We're both late." he felt her jerk in his arms as she looked to the clock in horror and Ethan laughed, tugging her around to face him in the tangle of arms and blankets.

"Oh My God." Kristina swore under her breath, not believing that they were running so late. How long had she been standing there? She should have realized. Holy crap! She turned in Ethan's arms but was instantly beginning to pull away only to have him tug her back.

"No need to rush now." Ethan caught her lips passionately and the sudden worry and panic began to dissipate as she melted into the embrace and kiss. "I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you, Love." the breathy whisper ghosted over her lips just before Kristina dived into another kiss believing every word.

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"Mom, says hi." Kristina jumped. She'd been half dazed starring at the computer screen and the e-mail that had yet to be sent. She'd been having these spells of zoning out far too often as of late, that and dizziness and a whole host of other ickiness that she swore just meant that her monthly was going to be a doozy. Maybe it was combination of that and the anniversary of her coma and ordeal and the fact that Alexis and Molly were now in New York. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"No, no. I was just lost in E-mail hell. You just startled me." Kristina smirked up at Sam, rising to envelope her obviously pregnant sister. As they disentwined Kristina laid a loving hand on Sam's baby bump. "Hi precious." She told the baby as well. "You ready for lunch?"

"Absolutely." Sam brightened immediately. Kristina quickly grabbed her purse from the back of her chair and headed out the office of the gallery. She had picked up a lovely management position right out of college with some glowing recommendations from her professors. Now she practically ran the Garner-Stahl gallery. They were currently doing a photo exhibit that had the halls packed day and night, a boom and award winning success for Kristina.

She and Sam worked their way through the throngs of people and Kristina gave the security guard, Dale Owens, a wave before they made it out the door. "So you talked to Mom?"

"Yeah, she was unpacking." Sam replied evenly as they continued their conversation once they were out in the open. "She starts Monday." She arched both eyebrows in excitement.

"She nervous?" Kristina smiled, excited for her mother as well. "She's the youngest judge in the district, I'd be nervous."

"Only on the inside, you'd be as fearless as Mom will appear, I'm sure." Sam corrected her as they walked down the side walk towards the bistro a few doors down. Kristina gave a nod at that with a smile. Sam had it right, she was sure. She waited until they were seated in the courtyard before she asked about Molly.

"So I'm sure you left Molly out on purpose. What's up?" Kristina asked her, knowing that Molly had been the biggest drama queen int he western world as of late considering she was being uprooted in the middle of her senior year. Sam lost her smile and licked at her lips nervously at the question. "Sam?"

"She's moving in with me and Jason so she can finish out her senior year here." Sam finally looked up from the menu and met her eyes, confessing the truth.

"What? How did I miss that?" Kristina's eyes widened in wild wonder.

"You've been busy with the gallery and Mom didn't want to burden you with it. Plus I'm at home for now and I'll need the help with the baby with Jason and Spinelli keeping the hours they've been keeping to keep the PI office open. It just seemed like a good fit." Sam explained. Jason had quit the business a few years back after a hit on Sonny nearly cost him his life and Sonny had even pulled back on running the show. He was off trying to find himself somewhere in the Caribbean at the moment. Ethan was more convinced that he was having a midlife crisis, but Kristina wasn't sure. She thought this last attempt on his life had really rocked him.

"So no one even told me?" Kristina asked in horror.

"I'm telling you now." Sam wrinkled her nose seeing Kristina exhale sharply, trying to squelch her anger. "She's helping Mom this weekend but she'll be back on Sunday night."

"It's been five years, Sam. I'm not that fragile wisp that had to be followed around the world and rescued." Kristina wasn't having much luck with the squelching. She hated that everyone coddled her and had for the last few years. It was like they thought she was permanently wounded, unable to take anything. Ethan was the only one who didn't treat her like she was broken. "You guys have to stop trying to protect me. I hate feeling out of the loop."

"Whoa, it really wasn't like that. We just didn't gets chance to talk to you about it." Sam defended herself as she met Kristina's eyes worriedly. " And so what if I'm a little protective of you. It's not about Kyros and Valentin, it's about you being my little sister and me wanting to make sure you're okay."

"Well, I'm fine." Kristina retorted heatedly.

"Great!" Sam spat out.

"It is." Kristina nodded, her anger slowly losing steam as they met each other's eyes again and suddenly realized how ridiculous they must look, the matter striking them both in growing humor as the laughter bubbled out. Finally it died down enough for them to both make their orders and Sam shook her head at Kristina in amusement.

"I swear you are getting as moody as I am." Sam chided her.

"It's not moodiness, it's just…I don't know maybe it is." Kristina sighed. A long moment of thoughtful silence passed between them and they met each other's eyes again a little more alert to the statement just made. "No…I mean I can't be…"

"Can't you?" Sam blinked at her, her voice hushed as though someone might soon figure out what they were talking about.

"No, I'm on birth…" Kristina's voice trailed off as she realized that a couple of months back…

"You had that ear infection!" Sam brought it up just as it was coming to Kristina. "Did you use any other protection?"

"No." Kristina breathed the word out and felt that dizziness hit her all at once. "Oh My God."

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"Seriously?" Ethan narrowed his eyes and angled his head as he looked at the monitor with a slow shake of his head in wild wonder at the scene on the floor. "Do they really think no one is watching?" He asked as Lucky frowned in stunned silence as well.

"Maybe they're just adventurous?" Lucky replied evenly as he felt a little dirty for watching the couple who had snuck off into a darkened corner of the very public casino floor of the Haunted star in order to well…

"Very…" They both angled their heads to the left, until a static hiss from the coms broke their eerie fascination.

"I'm in the east stairwell almost to the main floor, where are they?" Dante asked over the radio.

"Back by the penny slots." Lucky replied quickly.

Over the last five years, Ethan had been running the Haunted Star while Luke went into of all things…the floral business. They all knew that it was a front for something but were wise enough not to ask. So Lucky and Ethan had joined forces when the Star gained momentum, from Ethan's inventiveness and well regular business hours. They now had the most lucrative casino in Port Charles and it had only grown. They had to completely revamp the place to house more people. While they still had the original yacht, they were now set up on the first five floors of the Metro Court, all converted to casino space with the hotel servicing patrons with rooms and conference centers.

Ethan and Lucky owned and ran the casino and Dante had come on board as head of security. Michael was also working security and Lulu was helping Carly with the hotel side of things. It was a wonderful set up.

Ethan sank back into his chair, behind his desk as Dante reached the inebriated exhibitionist and broke up their little lovers moment on the floor. "I tell you this job never gets old." he chuckled as he wound his hands behind his head, catching Lucky's smirk of mirth on his way back to his own desk. Ethan sat up straighter though when he caught a glimpse of Lulu headed towards Dante.

They stopped in the middle of the floor and She was obviously telling him something. Ethan caught the look of absolute terror mingling with joy in Dante's eyes and frowned. "What's that all about?" Ethan asked Lucky, who turned at the prompt to get a look at what he was talking about.

"I don't know." Lucky blinked though when Dante suddenly enveloped their sister in a warm hug and then they were kissing in some steamy embrace. Lucky gave them a minute and then got on the radio, wanting to know what that was all about. "Hey are we gonna have to break you two up too?" He asked half joking.

"Shut your pie whole, you're gonna be an uncle." Dante taunted him as he looked up to the security camera and placed a hand on Lulu's flat stomach. Lulu grabbed the radio with a wave to the camera as well.

"We're having a baby!" She smiled brightly.

"So that's why you've been so pukey…" Ethan smirked. "Congratulations, guys!" he spoke up over his own radio.

"Thanks, man." Dante and Lulu replied in unison before Lucky offered his own congratulations.

When they were all off the radios Lucky sank into the chair at his desk and gave a shake of his head at Ethan. "Must be in the water." Lucky chuckled. "Sam's what? four months? Lulu just found out she's pregnant. You know these things happen in threes…" Lucky gleamed at Ethan who was quickly losing his smile.

"No, see things break in three's, people don't get pregnant in three's, and if they do then you must be talking about Siobhan. Kristina and I aren't trying for kids yet." Ethan was trying not to get his hopes up, not really as nervous as he appeared, but it was the reaction everyone expected. Truth of the matter was that he would have been thrilled if Kristina wanted kids now and they were trying, but it was a topic of conversation that hadn't really been broached yet.

"Yet…so there is hope." Lucky smirked. Ethan couldn't help but smile at that.

"Sure. Somewhere in the distant future there is all kinds of hope." Ethan shrugged it off, trying to get out of the current conversation. So he was especially thrilled when his cell phone began to ring.

"Saved by the ringtone." Lucky chuckled as he went back to watching Dante and Lulu's silent celebration on screen.

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Helena Cassadine adjusted her shirt in the mirror while shifting the phone against her ear. It had been quite a profitable five years for her. Valentin met his death nearly two years ago and it had been all up hill from there. She'd even started to take an interest in ancient history. Family history as it were. And there were some beliefs out there that were just too delicious to let go of. It seemed that some Cassadines were just blessed and as such every endeavor was met with an abundance of good fortune. Seemed that Kyros for all his delusions had actually made quite the discovery.

Kristina was one such Cassadine. As such Helena had taken a keen interest in her. She wanted to groom her into the perfect Cassadine, but to do that, she needed her to come to her on her own terms and in order to foster that event, Helena head set all kinds in motion. Alexis was in New York and Sonny was gone…now she just had to put a wedge between Kristina and the rest of her family and get rid of Ethan…

Not a problem.

"Is everything in order?" She asked over the phone as a smile slowly crept across her face from the response she was given.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I am going to write an epilogue for Black Rain still but it's going to be next week sometime I think :P **

**Chapter Two**

Ethan slipped in the door, tossing his keys on the table nearby before he headed for the kitchen. "Krissy, you home?" He called out, the rustling of the take out bag causing him to strain to listen for a response. "I brought dinner!"

Ethan paused and gave a listen, not hearing any response. He let out a sigh in disappointment realizing that she was probably still at work. He set the bag on the counter and grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge, popping the top with one hand while working out of his coat.

Maybe he could catch a shower, before she got home. Ethan took a hefty sip, his and Lucky's conversation playing back through his mind as he headed to the master bathroom. He set the beer down on the dresser that rested just inside the bedroom door, his shirt button's half opened from his one handed efforts as he made his way down the hallway. He started to give it a better effort with his other hand free, but stopped the minute his gaze fell on the rumbled bed.

Kristina was asleep. He frowned looking at the clock, seeing that it was just after 6. Not exactly normal on any scale. She hadn't even climbed under the covers, had fallen asleep in her work clothes. Ethan felt worry sinking in fast as he made his way over and delicately eased himself down beside her, trying not to disturb her too much. It was as though taking her in his arms could somehow alleviate all his worry, the touch between them a confirmation of the least of his concerns, that she was just somehow overtired.

Normally something out of the ordinary wouldn't phase him all that much, but there was something in her eyes in the morning and all that talk about intuition and he was spooked. Her soft stir against him gave him a breath in relief as he snuggled his body against hers, bare chest meeting her back as he wrapped his arms around her.

Kristina felt the warmth of his body before she actually breathed him and a smile was already on her lips before she had a chance to open her eyes. She rolled over in his arms and snuggled up closer to him. "I was almost asleep." She purred against his chest. "I just meant to close my eyes for a hot second…"

"Busy day at the office dear?" He mused against her ear with a tender kiss.

"I had to call Ginger in on her day off because the steam punk butterfly collection clashed with everything. We had to completely revamp the secondary exhibition wing. But alas, crisis was averted. Maxie sent over some eggshell lace that we draped over this sort of burnt umber hide wall covering and it made up the difference somewhere." Kristina sighed in between the explanation with a hint of laughter playing in her voice as she let her hands roam his body playfully.

"So you've been hanging hide and lace all day?" Ethan chuckled.

"Don't forget the mechanical butterflies, baby."

"Right, how could I do that…" Ethan laughed out louder and as she felt the reverberation through his chest it only helped spur her own, easing the feelings of worry both had harbored.

"What about you? How was your day?" Kristina kissed softly against his chest, her smile only growing when she heard him hiss in a breath against the action, trying to find his voice.

"Well we had quite the exhibitionists on the floor. Dante had break them up by the penny slots." Ethan's amusement was waning, making way for the building desire that so many tender touches and kisses were inspiring.

"Sounds like quite the show."

"I wouldn't know." Ethan smirked as she rose up, capturing his lips with her own. It was a moment later when they came up for breath that he confessed. "I had my eyes closed the whole time."

Kristina shook her head with a smile. "Liar." She smirked as he rose up to meet her, bringing them both to a sit as they met in another passionate kiss.

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The Next morning…

Kristina stood over a skillet full of eggs, Ethan's dress shirt from the night before covering her to mid thigh as he came from the bedroom, hurriedly getting dressed. "Hey have you seen my…"

"You're wallet's on the table. I found it under the bed." Kristina smirked over her shoulder.

"Novel place." He shrugged. "Don't forget about the benefit…"

"I haven't. Maxie's on her way over with Sam. You better get out of here if you don't want to be caught in an estrogen bomb."

"Right." Ethan dashed over giving her a quick kiss on the cheek at that. "Thanks for the heads up." He chuckled as he palmed the wallet and headed for the door. "I'll pick you up at seven?"

"Seven," She nodded.

He was almost out the door when he popped back around the corner with a curse under his breath. "Hey I forgot. Rex might be bringing a package by the house this afternoon."

"I won't be here." She gave him a long hard look. "Tell him to slip it through the mail slot...Should I ask?"

Ethan licked at his lips with a smirk. "Probably not." He waggled his eyebrows at her and then slipped out the door with a call of " Bye, Love!" Over his shoulder.

Kristina sighed out a breath with a shake of her head. Over the years they had come to an easy sort of balance. Ethan didn't tell her about the not so legal and she didn't ask. So long as he didn't endanger anyone or go to jail she looked the other way. Con's were in his blood and so long as he kept himself out of trouble she wasn't about to ask him to stop. He was home on a regular basis and no one really got hurt…so…it was compromise of sorts.

They had fallen asleep in each other's arms the night before and well with the morning rituals and all there wasn't a good chance for Kristina to tell him that she might be pregnant. Wasn't it better to wait until after she knew for sure? She knew they needed to actually talk about it, but finding the time the last few days hadn't been easy and well there was the whole benefit tonight and getting ready and…God….Kristina let out another breath as she set the spatula down, frowning at the eggs, not even sure she could eat them.

'Nerves…not pregnancy.' She told herself quickly. God she better get a shower and changed before Maxie and Sam got there. Maybe she could eat by then…

30 minutes later…

Kristina sauntered through through the house, her hair still needing styling, make-up half finished as she walked in the dress that she'd picked out for the party tonight, the back still open from a lack of help zipping up the back. "I'm coming," she called as the echo from the door bell was slowly fading down the hallway. Kristina pulled open the door to find Maxie and Sam both standing on the front porch.

"You aren't ready to go out?" Maxie was the one that asked it as Sam gave her sister a look of concern.

"My dress doesn't fit." Kristina hadn't tried to sip it but she had a feeling, oh a bad feeling. "It's too little."

"You got it fitted three weeks ago." Maxie gasped as Kristina made way for her and Sam to make their way into the house. "Let me see it…" Maxie turned Kristina forcefully and grabbed the zipper near the small of Kristina's back fully intent on proving her wrong as she pulled it up as hard as she could, only to run into trouble just south of Kristina's shoulder blades…suggesting that her breasts were bigger.

"This is absolutely ridiculous. You're what? 24? Boobs stop growing after a certain point. I'm sure you're there." Maxie prattled off quickly, her mouth doing her thinking for her as she went along. "I mean high school, middle school, even maybe the early years of college, but I'm pretty sure you're done. I mean it's not like you're pregnant…" She broke off her little ramble with a laugh, until she took in the looks on Sam and Kristina's faces. "You're pregnant?"

"We don't know yet." Sam interjected, seeing tears forming in Kristina's eyes as she quickly inserted herself between Maxie and her sister. "I've got the test in my purse." She explained to them quickly.

"Oh thank God. The Pharmacy was closed for that renovation thing on my way home from work last night." Kristina breathed out in relief as Sam helped ease the zipper down and then slipped the box into her sister's hands. "I'll go take it now…"

Three minutes later…

The three of them sat in Ethan and Kristina's bedroom quietly. They still had another two minutes before they were supposed to look and everyone seemed on pins and needles. "We can get another dress while we're out today. It's no problem." Sam soothed her as she gently massaged Kristina's neck.

"Yeah." Maxie nodded. "I mean how long could it possibly take to find the perfect dress for the perfect evening."

"Maxie." Sam hushed her and Maxie just gave her a look.

"It's just a benefit," Kristina sighed glancing back at the bathroom door and then to the clock expectantly.

"You took both of them, right?" Maxie popped off.

"Why would I take both of them? How much pee do you think I have?"

"Ewww." Maxie cringed at the very thought. "I was just being thorough. Lulu took like four."

Sam and Kristina both looked to Maxie in wonder and Maxie immediately realized that they didn't know about Lulu's little announcement. "Lulu's pregnant too." She explained as she got to her feet and paced nervously at the foot of the bed. "Oh God. Do you have any idea what it will mean if you are pregnant?" Maxie asked Kristina with a gulp not even realizing that Kristina and Sam were still reeling from the news that Lulu was pregnant.

"Lulu's pregnant?" Kristina choked out, interrupting Maxie's current train of thought on herself, at least trying to. Without any sort of success.

"Yes! That's yesterday's news!" Maxie rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Keep up! If you're pregnant then I'm like singled out…the only one not following this sudden trend."

"Maxie, they're babies, not a trend." Sam gasped out in horror.

"Yeah but if I want my kids to grow up with all of yours I have to get up with the program! And I don't know if I'm ready for the program." Maxie explained further.

"It's time." Kristina couldn't focus on Maxie's mini meltdown when her own test was waiting for her on the other side of that door…

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7:00pm…

Kristina might have realized that something wasn't exactly right had she not been so thrown for a loop. After the whole test fiasco there was shopping - and lots of it and she had a new dress and then there was a little work handling and refreshing her face and making sure she wasn't about to puke and before she knew it Sam and Maxie were departing to meet up with their own dates for this shin dig and she was waiting on Ethan in the darkened living room, still feeling a few shades of shock wavering over her.

The last thing she expected was opening the door to find Ethan at the end of the walk motioning her to follow him into the limo that awaited them on the street. That was the first moment that she had any inkling that something wasn't as she expected it. Kristina moved on autopilot praying that they could just get through this evening so that she could tell him all that she knew when they got home.

"You look absolutely spectacular, Love." he whispered as she descended the walk and met him there at the limo door. He kissed her as she allowed him to usher her inside. Ethan scooted over to wrap his arm around her not missing the shock in her features. "You seem a little shocked…"

"I'm…a little…it's been a long day and I wanted to talk to you but it can wait til after the benefit." She promised him. Hell she wanted it to wait, until it was just the two of them for the whole night. She needed that. She just had to hold it together a few hours longer.

Ethan took that in slowly with a frown and was slow to answer. "Are you sure you're up for this? You seem distracted."

Kristina was finally able to shake the shock and what not, knowing that she could explain it all soon as she met his eyes with a softening of her own and she smiled. "I'm fine. Out of shock and the limo is lovely." She leaned in and kissed him as if to show her appreciation.

"I'm glad you like it." He smirked. "So how long was your day, Darling?"

"Maxie, was a little obsessive. It was long." Kristina laughed. She didn't tell him why else it was though…

"Well forget about it. I want you to relax and enjoy yourself." Ethan reached across the seat and grabbed a bottle of champagne and Kristina clicked her tongue against her teeth feeling like such a goof. She had to say something. And yet…"You don't want a drink." Ethan figured her out with one look.

"Not just now," Kristina whispered as her hand rested over her nervous stomach. "But I can relax without it. I promise." She smiled.

There was another moment of silence that passed not so easily between them and Ethan settled back against the limo worriedly. It was as if they could read the air between them and while Kristina was holding out for his surprise he knew that she was absolutely beside herself and he couldn't stand for that. "What's going on?" He asked her finally as they pulled into the casino parking lot.

"What?" she looked to him with that same every surprised glance.

"Kristina. I am trying to impress you and you are so lost in thought you can't tell which way is up…what is going on?" Ethan asked her softly, imploring her gently for the answer to his question.

She met his eyes for a whole second - or maybe more he wasn't quite sure but it was intense and he felt his spirit falter a moment as worry settled in. It was like waiting for a shoe to drop, one after the other and he felt like he had been waiting all night he was already so nervous. He met her eyes without flinching though and waited for her response.

He just never thought…

"I'm pregnant," She whispered out in the darkness of the limo.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Ethan had a running list of the things that his frantic mind was trying to work out - the cause for her distress. It was a response to years of running cons, thinking out possible scenarios on the go, anticipating, trying to think on your feet. It was just instinct.

And despite his conversation yesterday with Lucky and all his mirth at the very idea that Kristina could impossibly be pregnant - he never guessed. It wasn't on that running list, wasn't hanging out in the back of his mind. It was a complete surprise…

"You're…"

"Pregnant." Saying it a second time wasn't helping it sink in any further. It was still circling the inside of his ear canal begging for entrance to his brain.

Ethan fingered the wrapping on the cork of the champagne bottle, his tongue running across his bottom lip absently. "Pregnant." He said it himself this time.

"With child, in a family way, expecting, waiting on the stork. Did something get lost in translation?" Kristina chuckled nervously, her eyes glinting in the dim light of the limo, showing the verge of tears that she was on. She knew she should have waited, found some way to abate his concern without telling him what was on her mind, but she knew that he knew her too well to let it go, even just for the evening.

Surviving their past had made words an important commodity - too much left unsaid for far too long and all. Life, bullets, and Greek aristocracy had taught them to bare their souls, to use their words before they were lost, and to never put things off. Still there was something to be said for timing and Kristina felt hers was off. Then again she wasn't sure there was a time in the world where it would feel right with the level of shock circulating between them.

Ethan finally seemed to shake himself mentally as he heard the tears in her voice and snapped his head, eyes meeting hers as he reached out, cupping her face, thumbing gently over her cheek. "Nothing got lost in translation." He promised her. "Just - I didn't expect…"

"I wasn't exactly expecting this either." Kristina's voice was barely a whisper. She turned into the touch, closing her eyes as she drank in the comfort of his touch. "I've never been so scared and so…"

"Excited…" Ethan tried, not sure he could read her for the first time in five years. She looked up, startled, meeting his eyes in a heartbeat at the very idea.

"Yeah. But I mean I've had most of the day to let it sink in. I don't expect you to be…I don't know happy, excited, yet. I don't even know if you will be after it all starts to make sense. I mean this isn't something we've talked about. I mean we did but it was always some time in the future, far from where we've been. And even that." Kristina broke off taking a soft breath with a tight swallow. "That was over a year ago…"

"Yeah but I am." Ethan spoke up.

"You're what?" Kristina wrinkled her nose in confusion, searching his eyes as if to understand what he was talking about. There it was, though, starring right back at her, that spark of mirth, that glint of excitement, and she couldn't even imagine how…She let out a gasp of a breath at that, corners of her lips betraying startled, thankful surprise.

"Happy, excited…this is brilliant…" Ethan couldn't explain it himself, save that the day before in the midst of Lucky's insane babbling about how Kristina might be pregnant because of the whole thing spreading he'd let himself really imagine the possibility and in that moment there was a sad disappointment that had permeated the whole rest of his day. He'd even wanted to invoke those long forgotten talks that they had many moons ago about children, to see where she stood, if she wanted to try and now, now he could read it in her eyes, in every twinge of movement. She was still reeling but just as overjoyed at the idea as he was yesterday.

"Really?" She cracked a brighter smile at his confirmation and a gasp of a laugh escaped as he suddenly scooped her to him in a hug, losing the all but forgotten champagne bottle which dropped to the floor of the limo, rolling into the seat base before them.

"Really," Ethan whispered against her neck, lips grazing her skin there was his smile slowly waned.

"Are you terrified too?" Kristina asked, closing her eyes as she relished in his closeness, in the mutual revelry.

"As I've ever been." He nodded softly against her, stubble scratching against her tender cheek as she let out a breath of relief.

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_Five Years Ago…_

_Joseph slipped through security at the Santo Pola international airport with the help of some of his contacts, blending in with the baggage handlers as he made his way to the private jet strips. He had come for one reason and one reason only. Ethan had done him a solid years back and well it was good to have friends that owed you one. He headed towards the plane which Ethan should have slipped mostly through towards the landing gear and pulled up his cart along side the plane, seeing that the occupants of the plane had already vacated the area. _

_He heard the chittering of the other ground crew, working to get the bags offloaded and talking about getting the jet back into the hanger so they could get on with their late night. This was some mess. He didn't even know all the details but seeing the aircrew and the jet's patrons, he was pretty sure that Ethan Lovett had stepped into something pretty nasty. _

_He looked over his shoulder as Ethan slipped down the landing gear and into his cart and pulled away quietly, hoping to blend into the night before anyone noticed him. It wasn't until after he slipped behind the hanger and out of sight that he chanced a glance over his shoulder and whispered to Ethan with a smirk and a wink. "You owe me, amigo, oh you owe me." _

_"You name it." Ethan flashed a smile back at him from where he lay flush with the cart bottom, staying clear out of sight from any danger as they made their way into the night. _

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Joseph walked into the Port Charles Breast Cancer benefit with a flick of an adjustment to his bow tie as he smiled at all the beautiful people that were making their way inside the casino. It was a nice set up here, lovely even. He could see why a man might want to settle east of Las Vegas, now. He swiped a drink from a waiter with a tray and spun around slowly, taking it all in. Oh yeah…

It almost made his reason for being here seem like an affront to the whole aspect of charity, but this was business, and survival. He took a long, hard swig from the glass as she tried to sell himself that one, one more time.

No, this was betrayal.

He was merely a puppet calling in a favor and Helena, Helena Cassadine was his puppet master. He wished he could warn Ethan, but self preservation made that a hard sell.

"She can't be that far along, Jason." Joseph heard a beautiful dark haired beauty with a bun in the oven comment in glee as she bounced excitedly beside her much more reserved boyfriend…husband…he caught a glimpse of the rings and took another long hard drink. They were on their way to the bar..where he was headed. "Mom, is going to flip. I don't see how she'll be able to stand New York."

"She's a judge. When is an appointment like this going to come open again." The husband retorted quietly, giving the room a once over like a trained professional.. Maybe he should steer clear of these two connected folks. Joseph still headed to the bar, but he made sure to get a few seats down from them. He sank onto the bar stool sipping his drink, scanning the room for Ethan as a bubbling blonde came hurrying up to the two he was steering clear of.

"Has she told him yet?" She asked expectantly, excitedly, dragging some geeky 50's P.I. looking freak behind her.

"We don't know. They haven't gotten here yet." the brunette spoke up also scanning the floor.

Damn, everyone was looking for someone.

"She hasn't called?" the blonde asked indignantly at a pout as she ordered herself up a drink.

"She hasn't called. Neither has Ethan." - The brunette now had his full attention, albeit it didn't look like it as he continued to act as if he wasn't listening to a thing they were saying, while he watched the others taking to the dance floor.

"Well they can't not show up." The blonde whispered out in a frenzy. "How long have I been working on this?"

"Maxie, I know, but Ethan might feel like one big announcement is enough," the brunette sighed.

"What? No?" the one called Maxie looked ready to tear into someone. "Just because she's found herself all preggo that is no reason for him to call of the whole marriage proposal thing. We have all worked too hard on this for them to not have this moment!"

So Ethan was about to be a father and husband? If they were indeed talking about him and significant other. Joseph felt his chest squeeze, wishing he hadn't over heard of all of that. It was easy to pretend you were heartless when you were with others that tried to profess as many sociopathic tendencies as the con called for, but right now, now…Joseph could barely hide the dismay and guilt that ran through him before he got it under control.

Dammit, Helena.

She was the true Sociopath, her only moral compass set to some insane family values that most would see as too warped to NOT include the local authorities on a regular basis. This was already a mess and he hadn't even spoken to Ethan. He didn't have hopes for it to get much better. But his sense of survival was still holding the wheel and for now he had to stick with the course set...

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Ethan and Kristina walked hand and hand and all alit with smiles, into the media circus that was stationed outside for all the celebrities and around town folks that warranted the paparazzi, making their way in grand spirits for the casino floor, but it was Ethan who had the surprise waiting. He had planned it long before there was any talk of ear infections and antibiotics rendering birth control ineffective or pregnancy. Long before joy at hidden desires was revealed. He planned it knowing that they were both ready. He wasn't a commitment-phobe, they just had been so happy even without the marriage title.

Neither one of them felt that they were missing anything but Ethan knew that Kristina deserved the wedding of the century, and it had finally seemed long enough since her nightmare to propose the option to her. He loved her with his whole heart, his very soul, and there was nothing he wanted more than to spend the rest of his life with her. Or as long as they both were able to put up with each other, which ever came first. He didn't see the end in sight, and he didn't want to dwell on it.

So Ethan had concocted a plan, setting aside the East Conference room during the cancer benefit to mask his own design, a design that Maxie had somehow convinced herself she had had a hand in despite his perfect planning. He planned the whole night, and no matter how off the news might have thrown things he had no plans of missing this moment. He'd had the conference room dotted in lights in a theme inspired by Vincent Van Gogh's 'Starry Night'. It was twilight bliss with a romantic tinge that was inspired by so many elements that he knew Kristina adored.

From the star speckled theme that decorated the conference room in a glow of a million stars and swirls of light and white and night to the cleared hall that put them both in the middle of them all as if they could simply reach out and touch those spectacular stars to the black lit floor that gave them the sense of standing in eternity to the solidarity of the room…It was a wonder in undertaking that took nearly a week of decorating.

Ethan's plan had been to lure Kristina off during the benefit to the preplanned location, presenting the most spectacular ring and the only that he'd actually bought outright, and to ask for her hand in marriage. In the background played a loop of Ethan reading a work of poetry that he found fitting for the instance, light and low in the distance, the sound like a glow on the horizon of the room.

**I Seem to Have Loved You ...**

**~ Rabindranath Tagore**

"I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times,

In life after life, in age after age forever.

My spell-bound heart has made and re-made the necklace of songs

That you take as a gift, wear round your neck in your many forms

In life after life, in age after age forever.

Whenever I hear old chronicles of love, its age-old pain,

Its ancient tale of being apart or together,

As I stare on and on into the past, in the end you emerge

Clad in the light of a pole-star piercing the darkness of time:

You become an image of what is remembered forever.

You and I have floated here on the stream that brings from the fount

At the heart of time love of one for another.

We have played alongside millions of lovers, shared in the same

Shy sweetness of meeting, the same distressful tears of farewell-

Old love, but in shapes that renew and renew forever.

Today it is heaped at your feet, it has found its end in you,

The love of all man's days both past and forever:

Universal joy, universal sorrow, universal life,

The memories of all loves merging with this one love of ours-

And the songs of every poet past and forever. "

These were the words that permeated the room as Ethan led Kristina into the starry night, right to the middle of the glow onto the midnight floor, their mirth and joy at the celebration already at hand only heightened as Kristina realized what it was that felt so off about the whole night. Ethan's deception to pull her into this elaborate plan, that is what had been nagging at her and now…now…

Kristina burst out in joyous laughter as Ethan tugged her into the mesmerizing room of stars and she didn't even realize what was happening until he was on his knee in front of her, in the midst of all those host of stars seeming to be kneeling on a million other stars, looking up into her eyes, the goofiest of grins alight on his face as he bore his soul in asking for her hand in marriage.

And what else could she possibly say but yes?

Celebrations later found her and her friends and his friends all tangled up in congratulations of exuberance, the whole lot clasping hands, and hugs, and kissing cheeks as they all celebrated the engagement and soon the coming joy of Ethan and Kristina.


End file.
